Baby

The Struggle with Two…

To My Babies,

I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Before I had you I imagined that sometimes it would be difficult, that sometimes I would get mad or frustrated. Before I had you I imagined that times may get tough and our different worlds would collide.

Then I had you.   I do get mad and frustrated.  Times are really tough, tougher than I could ever have imagined. Our worlds continuously collide but I’m learning I promise.

Baby J when you cry and scream all I want to do is make you feel better, but sometimes I just can’t.  Maybe you just need to cry it out?  Maybe it’s just not your day?  I blame your teeth, or sometimes I think your tired.  I really want to get it right.  I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Little E when bedtime comes and you suddenly come alive, I know all you want is my love and attention.  There is this routine you see, and I’m really trying to crack it. It will be worth it you know, it just takes time.  I’m sorry it’s bedtime when you seem to need me the most.  I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Baby J when your climbing and crawling around and I ask you to ‘please sit, please just give me this time’.  I know you are learning and excited no doubt, but your sister needs feeding and I’m running short on time.  I promise to walk and climb with you more, your exploring this new world and enjoying it all.  I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Little E when you wake and it’s 3am.  I drag myself up, its hard I need rest.  But I know you need comfort, this world is so new.  Your worth every hour, please believe in that.  I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Joseph my lad, I love you, I do.  I know your not always here but that’s temporary you see.  These children are so tiny and your as bouncy as can be.  My four legged friend, the best I could ever have.  Please forgive me this time, for it will pass in a flash.  I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

To my girls and my boy please forgive me right now.  Things aren’t all that easy, but they will come right some how.  We just have to keep going, keep powering through.  For this time will soon pass, it’ll be gone just like that.

I’m trying my hardest, I really am.

Mummascribbles

Cuddle Fairy

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56 thoughts on “The Struggle with Two…

  1. Wow! This piece really rings home with me. It’s so challenging to split yourself in two isn’t it. I used to cry when my second was first born because it broke my heart to leave my newborn crying because my toddler couldn’t understand why I couldn’t help her. When my first was born I would jump to her cry the second she started but you can’t second time round. I do find it has got easier but it always has its challenges. Thank you for sharing it really pulled at my heart strings xx

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  2. Having two kids can really be difficult, but trust me as they get older it would get better. I have two kids too and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. Keep it up, you’re doing great! #TwinklyTuesday

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  3. Ahh it’s a big change going from one to two, it definitely takes time to get into a routine and to prioritise your day. I have five and know all too well how there are moments when you wish that you could clone yourself just to be able to give each child the attention that they need whilst running a house aswell. Keep going, you’re doing so well. #TwinklyTuesday

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  4. 10.5 months between them, that must be really tough. My kids are 21 months apart and some days I just want to rip my own hair out. My kids are 2 and 4 and I wish I could tell you it gets easier bit for me it hasn’t (my son does have additional needs though so that plays a huge part) but when your girls are a little older I’m sure they will be the absolute best of friends and you can finally relax and put your feet up over a (hot) cuppa while they entertain each other. Like you say, this time will soon pass but for now just keep swimming 😉

    #twinklytuesday

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  5. This gives me an insight into what it’ll be like when I have a 2nd child. It must be hard to separate your time between both kids but I reckon your doing a sterling job of it. Mummy’s worry because they care 🙂 #bloggerclubuk

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  6. Ahhh lovely, honestly you have nothing to be sorry for!! You are doing the best you can for everyone. That is all you can do. Babies cry – for no reason. Toddlers cry – for no reason. It’s head wrecking. There’s lack of sleep, no time to wash, eat, think… I know what it’s like & all you can do is the best you can. You should be proud of yourself & don’t feel bad for a minute. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #BloggerClubUK x

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  7. This really chimes. It totally portrays the feeling of being overwhelmed that I felt (still feel) when my two were baby and toddler stage. (Now 4 and 6) -That feeling that you are so stretched that you can’t (but you actually are) do the best job you can. You are doing magnificently I’m sure, because anyone who can reflect so honestly on the challenges of having two little ones, must be doing great. Don’t be too hard on yourself, I don’t think anyone feels like they’ve got this parenting lark down. #stayclassymama xx

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  8. With only one little guy at home I’m in awe of mummies looking after more than one baby. Rest assured you are doing an amazing job, even if you need tea/wine/chocolate [delete as applicable] to get you through the day! Big mummy hugs to you xx

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  9. Reading this has just made me well up. I have a 7 week old and there is 18 months between him and my eldest. We’re all adapting to our new family life, at a stage when my toddler is naturally testing the boundaries. I feel I’m robbing my daughter of quality time together, getting frustrated myself when she is frustrated, all the while being unable to appreciate this precious time just taking in my beautiful newborn baby boy.

    I feel they both need me so much and yet I’m failing at giving either of them what they need. Reading this has made me realise we are all in the same boat as parents, somehow we all get through it and our children will come out alright in the end. With your children so extremely close together on age I can’t imagine how you managed the early days. Just think to someone like me seeing how you’ve made it this far, you’re an inspiration. And you are so right that this phase will be over in the blink of an eye when we look back on it down the line. Every time I have a bad day I’ll think of this, and remember (some days!) to focus on the one or two little things every day that make me smile, even if it’s between the tears and the tantrums (theirs too). You’re doing a brilliant job lovely, as perfectly imperfect as it might seem.

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    1. Your so right, we will get through it, and they will be fine. It just seems so tough when we are in the middle of it. I’m sure you are giving them both what they need and more but I completely understand how you feel. Thankyou for reading and for such a lovely comment. If even just by reading this I have helped a even a tiny bit, I’m glad, us mums have to stick together! Xx

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  10. Ahh this is lovely. The overwhelming nature of it all really comes across in this post but ultimately you are trying your hardest…you sounds fabulous and, as you say, things will get easier as you all grow and come through the tough stages together. #fortheloveofBLOG

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  11. This post nearly made me cry. So powerful. I only have one so I can’t imagine how difficult two so close together must be. You are clearly doing an AMAZING job. Be kind to yourself and try to let go of guilt. Beautiful photos. #KCACOLS

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  12. Oh, I could have written this! It is so hard sometimes. I have nearly come to the end of 10 days’ solo parenting and I have come close to losing it (mine are nearly 3yrs (girl) and 9mo (boy). I think you are doing brilliantly and please, PLEASE don’t be hard on yourself. I keep telling myself it will get easier (it will, right?!) #fortheloveofBLOG

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  13. Awww it can be so tough. Parenting two children is hard but what I can say is that it does get a little easier as they get older (I have two boys)

    Like you said though you are trying your best and at the end of the day that is what counts. Your children (and dog!) will still love you no mater what.

    Thank you for linking up to #KCACOLS and I hope to see you back again next week X

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  14. I’m sure you’re doing so much better than you think you are lovely. I’m expecting my second baby and I often find myself wondering what life will be life with 2 children, how will I spread my tine/love/attention between the two? It can’t be done though I’m sure. The baby years are always tough but hopefully as they grow things will get easier xx #Fartglitter

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  15. You will always be your harshest critic and see the things you think you haven’t done or haven’t done as well as you wanted to. But think of all the wonderful things you have done for them and do everyday. Two so close together must be a huge challenge, mine are three years apart. Take a deep breath, some time to yourself and carry on you are doing great xx #FartGlitter

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  16. You are doing an amazing job lovely, please don’t feel guilty about that. It must be so hard managing two, particularly when they both have very different needs and demands at different times of the day. It sounds like you are doing a brilliantly raising them, all babies and toddlers are meant to cry, I’m like you and blame it on teething and tiredness (very much so today). Keep going lovely, you’re doing great, the weeks fly by so quickly and phases pass. I hope that Joseph returns home soon. Thanks so much for joining us at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire

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  17. I think we’ve all felt like this lovely and I can definitely relate to this post. You have two tiny children so very close in age – it must be tough sometimes, and while of course you wouldn’t change it for a second, you’re allowed to admit that it’s tough sometimes. It sounds to me like you’re doing an amazing job. I have a two year gap with mine and that has been hard enough at times. I take my hat off to you xx

    Thanks for linking up with #fartglitter.

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  18. I am sure you are doing an amazing job and that both of your kids think you’re the most perfect Mummy! Having two so close together must be hard, I really want a big family so would like another child within the next year or two ideally but I know it will be a huge shock. Sometimes I think about how I’m parenting and realise how different it will be second time round, purely for necessity – I won’t be able to go to a baby straight away or sit with them in my arms for hours. I guess I will be employing the use of the sling even more! This post is beautiful. I hope it will get easier. #fartglitter

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  19. It is hard to balance two sometimes, especially when they’re close in age, but it becomes normal and gets into a rhythm. I think mine are possibly causing more trouble now they are both toddlers than when I had a baby and a 1 year old – now they can both run opposite ways! 😀 I’m used to it now, though! #twinklytuesday

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  20. Such a touching post! ❤️❤️ I will soon have 2 under 2 and 2 dogs (and a husband, can’t forget about him) I am so worried how I am going to balance it all and give everyone he love and attention they need and deserve. You sound like a great Mom 😊 Thanks for sharing! #KCACOLS

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  21. There’s nearly 3 years between my two, and it’s been hard learning how to juggle both their needs, we still have plenty of hard moments now, but we’re all just trying our hardest! With a much smaller age gap like you’ve got, it really must be hard, so well done you, all that matters really is that our children know they’re loved and this post is evidence of how much your two are loved! x #KCACOLS

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